From Wordplay

An exploration of words and language

Double-takes Wordplay

Let’s take everyday words and do a double-take… Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.…

Oxymoronica

Dr. Mardy Grothe is a ‘wordsmith extraordinaire’ and he is an author of many books that take an in-depth look at some of the more amusing elements of our English language. A case in point is his book entitled Oxymoronica. By Dr. Grothe’s own definition, oxymoronica is a noun that means: “Any compilation of phrases or quotations that initially appear illogical or nonsensical, but upon reflection, make a good deal of sense and are often profoundly true.” The following list of oxymorons is concerning ‘writers’ and it is one of the many treasures found within the book Oxymoronica. It took…

25 Funniest Puns Ever

How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket! eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I’ve just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a rap. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn’t matter; none of them work. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. I hate insects puns; they really bug me. Did…

6 more punny memes

Here are 6 punny memes recently shared with By George… enjoy. Send us your favourite punny memes and we will attempt to get as many posted in our Twitter feed @ByGeorgeJournal. We will also pick a dozen puns to feature here in the Journal on May 1st. Email us your puns at cgacomm@gmail.com   Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Those punny e-newsletter memes

By George has created a stir among ints readership by putting out a challenge to share favourite puns through the month April. In our latest newsletter – Punny Stuff – we shared six great pun memes and ask people to start sending their favourites on our Facebook and Twitter. Over the next few weeks, it will be fun to watch our readership’s collective efforts. For the record, here are the original six pun memes from our e-newsletter that started it all. If you wish to receive future By George newsletters, fill out the online form and we will be pleased…

3 unforgettable, very punny memes!

These past few weeks, on Facebook and Twitter, By George has been polluting our social media stream with very punny memes. Our sadistic nature has us continuing this mission through April. By way of example, here are a few of our more amusing posts this month – 3 unforgettable guffaws!   For those who have found this post via the latest By George newsletter, do you agree these are the punniest?! Was there another meme that you thought should have been selected? Send us your favourite punny memes and we will attempt to get as many posted in our Twitter feed…

5 shaggy-dog (pun-ishing) stories

Here are 5 gems to get you through the week!! King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.” The King protested, “But I paid a million dinars for it! Don’t you know who I am? I am the king!” Croesus replied, “When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you…

For Lexophiles

“Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words and twisted phrases, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” Here is a great list forwarded to us by good friend Dick Inwood, who is a true lexophile.   When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. The batteries were given out free of charge. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth…

A lesson in punctuation

  Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Anagrams (to admire)

PRESBYTERIAN / BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER / MOON STARER DESPERATION / A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES / THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH / HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE / HERE COME DOTS DORMITORY / DIRTY ROOM SLOT MACHINES / CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY / IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS / LIES – LET’S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS / ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S A DECIMAL POINT / I’M A DOT IN PLACE ELEVEN PLUS TWO / TWELVE PLUS ONE     Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator?…