From The Lighter Side

Humourous articles and classic jokes

“Beware Revelers” the season of memes

By  George launches its season of Christmas memes with a warning that the endless deluge of Christmas posters and gifs are seldom funny and often in bad taste. Still, our hope is to unearth a few striking memes that you will want to share. We begin with this set of 5 which we entitle “Beware Revelers”. (Go ahead – right click on the meme below. You can copy or save it and then share it to help spread the joy of the season…)             Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need…

Here’s to a Punny Christmas

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? – It’s Christmas, Eve! What is a typical elf greeting? – “Small world, isn’t it?” You better get spruced up if you’re going to sell Christmas trees. Some children call him Santa Caus since there is Noel. How do Santa and Mrs. Claus travel? – On an icicle built for two. What do Christmas trees and bad knitters have in common? – They both drop their needles. If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one? – At a retail store. What do you call a reindeer who…

5 taxing memes

On this the day of the fiscal update announcement in Ottawa, here are five of By George’s favourite memes on the subject of taxes. Seriously, it is not a funny matter…   Join By George on Facebook and on Twitter for daily missives that are both provocative and entertaining. You can zap your friends with these memes by right clicking on these images and copy/save to Facebook, Twitter or into an email. Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Some Humpday Humour (6 memes)

Here are a half dozen memes most suitable for putting a smile on your face on Wednesday morning. Enjoy your sideways humpday humour.   To pass along this humour today, right click on these images and copy/save – and then share widely. Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

15 Humpday Revelations

Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue! Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. We could learn a lot from crayons.  Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.  Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. If you lend someone…

American Know-How

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So American management…

Thanksgiving gaffaws (at the expense of the turkey)

Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?  If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy. Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck himself! Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?  Because they never learned good table manners! What sound does a space turkey…

Explaining Politics

MY SON WAS FLUNKING OUT OF COLLEGE SO I TOLD HIM, “YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE.” HE SAID, “NO.” I TOLD HIM, “SHE IS BILL GATES’ DAUGHTER.” HE SAID, “YES.” I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, “I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON.” BILL GATES SAID, “NO.” I TOLD BILL GATES, “MY SON IS THE CEO OF THE WORLD BANK.” BILL GATES SAID, “OK.” I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE CEO. HE SAID, “NO.” I TOLD HIM, “MY SON IS BILL GATES’ SON-IN-LAW.” HE SAID, “OK.”   AND THAT’S…

A lesson in punctuation

  Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Henry Miller’s 10 Commandments for Writers

Work on one thing at a time until finished. Start no more new books, add no more new material to “Black Spring.” Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time! When you can’t create you can work. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it. Don’t be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only. Discard the Program when you feel like it—but go back to it next day. Concentrate.…