Tagged puns

Classic tongue-in-cheek puns

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.” A dyslexic man walks into a bra. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says : “A beer please, and one for the road.” Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…” I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day,…

Top 10 punny memes recently shared

Over the past two weeks we have had a lot of fun at By George sharing punny memes in our Facebook and Twitter streams. Here are our top 10 – and we thank all our followers who participated in our antics!!   Join us at the By George Journal on Facebook and Twitter. Enjoy our daily injections of provocative posts. Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

6 more punny “shaggy dog” stories

1) The Nomads In the great desert lived a bunch of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank, due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man’s strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.   After leading the band for many years, Benny began to feel uncomfortable wearing the beards, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.   When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said,…

6 punny “shaggy dog” stories

1) Quasimodo After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous, “You have no arms!” “No matter,” said the man, “Observe!” He then began striking the bells…

25 Funniest Puns Ever

How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket! eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I’ve just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a rap. I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn’t matter; none of them work. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. I hate insects puns; they really bug me. Did…

Puns! (send us your favourite)

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Atheism…

An unemployable bloke’s lament

This punny story is found in our very own By George Treasury:   My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned . . . couldn’t concentrate.  Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.  After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it, mainly because it was a so-so job.  Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.  Then I tried to be a chef, figured it would add a…

6 more punny memes

Here are 6 punny memes recently shared with By George… enjoy. Send us your favourite punny memes and we will attempt to get as many posted in our Twitter feed @ByGeorgeJournal. We will also pick a dozen puns to feature here in the Journal on May 1st. Email us your puns at cgacomm@gmail.com   Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Those punny e-newsletter memes

By George has created a stir among ints readership by putting out a challenge to share favourite puns through the month April. In our latest newsletter – Punny Stuff – we shared six great pun memes and ask people to start sending their favourites on our Facebook and Twitter. Over the next few weeks, it will be fun to watch our readership’s collective efforts. For the record, here are the original six pun memes from our e-newsletter that started it all. If you wish to receive future By George newsletters, fill out the online form and we will be pleased…

3 unforgettable, very punny memes!

These past few weeks, on Facebook and Twitter, By George has been polluting our social media stream with very punny memes. Our sadistic nature has us continuing this mission through April. By way of example, here are a few of our more amusing posts this month – 3 unforgettable guffaws!   For those who have found this post via the latest By George newsletter, do you agree these are the punniest?! Was there another meme that you thought should have been selected? Send us your favourite punny memes and we will attempt to get as many posted in our Twitter feed…