Some Scientific Equations You May Not Be Familiar With

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

 

2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

 

1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

 

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecon

 

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

 

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

 

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

 

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

 

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

 

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

 

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

 

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

 

1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

 

2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

 

365.25 days = 1 unicycle

 

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

 

52 cards = 1 decacards

 

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

 

1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

 

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

 

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

 

10 rations = 1 decoration

 

100 rations = 1 C-ration

 

2 monograms = 1 diagram

 

4 nickels = 2 paradigmne

 

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

 

Chris George, providing reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

The Five Oldest Words

Of all languages, throughout the ages, around the globe, there are five words that are today recognized as “the oldest.” University of Reading evolutionary biologist Mark Pagel studies have concluded the oldest words as:

I
Who
Two
Three
Five

These words are the most often used in daily speech – their forms or sounds date back over 10,000 years. Some of the other oldest words in mankind’s communicative history are:

We
Thou
Name
Tongue
What
How
Where
Four

This extraordinary work was first reported in a 2009 issue of National Geographic, but detailed reports about Professor Pagel’s study are found in U.K. media: BBC News and The Telegraph.

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Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a trusted executive assistant, a communications can-do guy, or a go-to-scribe? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

 

Classic tongue-in-cheek puns

  • A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
  • A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”
  • A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  • A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says : “A beer please, and one for the road.”
  • Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”
  • I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
  • I went to a seafood disco rave last week … and pulled a mussel.
  • Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
  • That was two-thirds of a pun: ‘p’ , ‘u’ .

 

Check out By George Journal’s selection of puns in our archives – articles tagged “puns”.

(ed. – No punny post would be complete without acknowledging our friend, The Kng of Punsters, Dick Inwood. Thanks Dick for your years of providing our office countless morning smiles and groans!!)

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Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a trusted executive assistant, a communications can-do guy, or a go-to-scribe? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Our Redundant Redundancies

Have you notice we repeatedly use common figures of speech that are obvious redundancies?  Here are a few we’ve recorded at work in the last few weeks.

  • an added bonus
  • all inclusive
  • basic fundamentals
  • a brief moment
  • it’s boiling hot
  • let’s circle around
  • classic tradition
  • close proximity
  • duplicate copy
  • end result
  • false illusion
  • they’re immortalized forever
  • live audience
  • mental thought
  • my personal opinion
  • new discovery
  • original founder
  • it’s a temporary reprieve
  • true fact
  • unique, one-in-a-lifetime opportunity

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.