Redneck Medical Terms

RuralHealthHere are some medical definitions

from the back-forty…

  • Artery: The study of paintings.
  • Benign: What you be after you be eight.
  • Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
  • Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
  • Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome.
  • Cat Scan: Searching for Kitty.
  • Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
  • Coma: A punctuation mark.
  • Dilate: To live long.
  • Enema: Not a friend.
  • Fester: Quicker than someone else.
  • Fibula: A small lie.
  • Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.
  • Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
  • Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
  • Medical Staff: A Doctor’s cane.
  • Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
  • Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
  • Node: I knew it.
  • Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
  • Post Operative: A letter carrier.
  • Rectum: Darn near killed him.
  • Seizure: Roman emperor.
  • Tablet: A small table.
  • Tumor: More than one.
  • Urine: Opposite of you’re out
  • Varicose: Near by


(ed. – Again, many thanks to our friend Dick Inwood. Keep ’em coming!!)

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