Monday Morning Definitions

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
A cake in such a way that
Everybody believes
He got the biggest piece

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
Multiplied by the
Number present

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
Nobody listens

OFFICE:
A place
Where you can relax
After your strenuous
Home life

SMILE:
A curve
That can set
A lot of things straight!
And everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
You are going to feel
A feeling
You have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book
Which people praise,
But never read

MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement Wherein
A man loses his bachelors degree
And a woman gains her masters

YAWN:
The only time
When some married men
Ever get to open
Their mouth

EXPERIENCE:
The name
Men give
To their
Mistakes

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
Masculine will power is
Defeated by feminine water-power!

DIPLOMAT:
A person
Who tells you
To go to hell
In such a way
That you actually look forward
To the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person
Who while falling
From EIFFEL TOWER
Says in midway
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information
From the notes of the lecturer
To the notes of students
Without passing through the minds
Of either

MISER:
A person
Who lives poor
So that
He can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
Provided by
Nature

BOSS:
Someone
Who is early
When you are late
And late
When you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who
Shakes your hand
Before elections
And your confidence
Later

DOCTOR:
A person
Who kills
Your ills
By pills,
And kills you
By his bills!

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
Rolled in paper
With fire at one end
And a fool at the other!

 

(ed. – Our thanks to friend Dick Inwood for these priceless definitions. Great way to start the week!) 

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

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