- How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket!
- eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- I’ve just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it’s more of a rap.
- I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn’t matter; none of them work.
- I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
- It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
- I hate insects puns; they really bug me.
- Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how they turn out.
- How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
- I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
- Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France? De-brie was everywhere…
- I’m glad I know sign language; it’s pretty handy.
- I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
- It’s really hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac. They always take things literally.
- I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
- My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
- My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn’t see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
- What’s the worst thing about ancient orators? They tend to Babylon.
- My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.
- I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na…
- A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
- A pet store had a bird contest, no perches necessary.
- I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself, this is the last thing I need.
SOURCE: From List 25 ~ https://list25.com/25-funniest-puns-ever/
Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.