{"id":1292,"date":"2018-04-18T07:10:52","date_gmt":"2018-04-18T11:10:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=1292"},"modified":"2018-04-29T18:35:10","modified_gmt":"2018-04-29T22:35:10","slug":"puns-send-us-your-favourite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=1292","title":{"rendered":"Puns! (send us your favourite)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\">\n<ul>\n<li>I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.<\/li>\n<li>She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.<\/li>\n<li>A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.<\/li>\n<li>No matter how much you push the envelope, it&#8217;ll still be stationery.<\/li>\n<li>A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.<\/li>\n<li>A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.<\/li>\n<li>Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.<\/li>\n<li>Atheism is a non-prophet organization<\/li>\n<li>I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.<\/li>\n<li>A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: &#8216;Keep off the Grass.&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>A backward poet writes inverse.<\/li>\n<li>A vulture boards an aeroplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, &#8216;I&#8217;m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says &#8216;Dam!&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can&#8217;t have your kayak and heat it too.<\/li>\n<li>Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, &#8216;I&#8217;ve lost my electron.&#8217; The other says &#8216;Are you sure?&#8217; The first replies, &#8216;Yes, I&#8217;m positive.&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.<\/li>\n<li>There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>(These great puns are courtesy of Dick Inwood.\u00a0 If you have a favourite pun or punny piece, we would love to receive and share it with our readership! Send your puns to cgacomm@gmail.com\u00a0&#8211; or simply comment on this post.)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><em>Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @<\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/cgacommunications.com\/m\/\">CG&amp;A COMMUNICATIONS<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. No matter how much you push the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[40],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1292"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1292"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1292\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9650,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1292\/revisions\/9650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1292"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1292"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}