{"id":1624,"date":"2011-02-22T10:48:04","date_gmt":"2011-02-22T14:48:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=1624"},"modified":"2019-09-22T11:01:05","modified_gmt":"2019-09-22T15:01:05","slug":"hilarious-if-they-werent-true","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=1624","title":{"rendered":"Hilarious &#8211; if they weren&#8217;t true!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\"><em>A Washington DC\u00a0airport ticket agent offers us a glimpse of some of the astoundingly ignorant public she is required to service. These exchanges would be hilarious \u2013 if they weren\u2019t true.<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A Kansas Congressman&#8217;s staffer called wanting to go to Cape Town.\u00a0 I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,\u00a0and then he interrupted me with, &#8221;I&#8217;m not trying to make you look stupid,\u00a0but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.&#8221; Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,\u00a0&#8221;Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,\u00a0Cape Town is in South Africa.&#8221; His response &#8212; click. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A man called, furious about a Florida package we did.\u00a0 I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.\u00a0 He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.\u00a0 I tried to explain that&#8217;s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, &#8216;Don&#8217;t lie to me! I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!&#8221;\u00a0\u00a0<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A lawmaker&#8217;s wife who asked,\u00a0 &#8221;Is it possible to see England from Canada ?&#8221; I said,\u00a0 &#8221;No.&#8221; She said,\u00a0 &#8221;But they look so close on the map.&#8221; <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A woman asked for an aisle seat on the plane so that her hair wouldn&#8217;t get messed up by being near the window.\u00a0\u00a0<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">An Illinois Congresswoman needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,\u00a0and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn&#8217;t understand the concept of time zones.\u00a0 Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A New Yorker called and asked, &#8221;Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?&#8221;\u00a0 I said,\u00a0 &#8216;No, why do you ask?&#8217; He replied, &#8221;Well, when I checked in with the airline,\u00a0they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),\u00a0 and I&#8217;m overweight.\u00a0 I think that&#8217;s very rude!&#8221; After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing).\u00a0 I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT &#8211; Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.. <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A Senator John Kerry aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.\u00a0 After going over all the cost info, she asked,\u00a0&#8221;Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?&#8221; <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A freshman Congressman asked, &#8221;How do I know which plane to get on?&#8221; I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, &#8221;I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.&#8221; <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A Senator had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China.\u00a0 After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.\u00a0 &#8220;Oh, no I don&#8217;t &#8211; I&#8217;ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.&#8221; <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span>I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.\u00a0 When I told her this she said, &#8221;Look, I&#8217;ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!&#8221; <\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Georgia; font-size: 11pt;\">A New Jersey Congressman called to make reservations, &#8221;I want to go from Chicago to Rhino,\u00a0New York.&#8221; I was at a loss for words.\u00a0 Finally, I said, &#8221;Are you sure that&#8217;s the name of the town?&#8221; <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span>&#8216;Yes, what flights do you have?&#8221; replied the man.<span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0 <\/span>After some searching, I came back with, &#8221;I&#8217;m sorry, sir, I&#8217;ve looked up every airport code in the country and can&#8217;t find a rhino anywhere.&#8221; &#8221;The man retorted, &#8221;Oh, don&#8217;t be silly! Everyone knows where it is.\u00a0 Check your map!&#8221; So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, &#8221;You don&#8217;t mean Buffalo, do you?&#8221; And the reply &#8211; &#8221;Whatever!\u00a0 I knew it was a big animal.&#8221;<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A Washington DC\u00a0airport ticket agent offers us a glimpse of some of the astoundingly ignorant public she is required to service. These exchanges would be hilarious \u2013 if they weren\u2019t true. A Kansas Congressman&#8217;s staffer called wanting to go to Cape Town.\u00a0 I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[46,49],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1624"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1624"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10606,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1624\/revisions\/10606"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}