{"id":322,"date":"2015-05-04T08:12:07","date_gmt":"2015-05-04T12:12:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=322"},"modified":"2015-05-06T13:42:47","modified_gmt":"2015-05-06T17:42:47","slug":"daftisms-to-be-pondered-on-a-monday-morning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=322","title":{"rendered":"Daftisms (to be pondered on a Monday morning)"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Monday is an awful way to spend 1\/7th of your life.<\/li>\n<li>When I&#8217;m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.<\/li>\n<li>What happens if you get scared half to death twice?<\/li>\n<li>I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.<\/li>\n<li>OK, so what&#8217;s the speed of dark?<\/li>\n<li>Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.<\/li>\n<li>When everything is coming your way, you&#8217;re in the wrong lane.<\/li>\n<li>Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.<\/li>\n<li>Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don&#8217;t have film.<\/li>\n<li>Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.<\/li>\n<li>I intend to live forever &#8211; so far, so good.<\/li>\n<li>Eagles may soar, but weasels don&#8217;t get sucked into jet engines.<\/li>\n<li>I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.<\/li>\n<li>No one is listening until you make a mistake.<\/li>\n<li>Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.<\/li>\n<li>The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.<\/li>\n<li>The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.<\/li>\n<li>The sooner you fall behind, the more time you&#8217;ll have to catch up.<\/li>\n<li>A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.<\/li>\n<li>If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you&#8217;ve never tried before.<\/li>\n<li>If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.<\/li>\n<li>Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.<\/li>\n<li>Borrow money from pessimists &#8211; they don&#8217;t expect it back.<\/li>\n<li>Half the people you know are below average.<\/li>\n<li>99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.<\/li>\n<li>42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.<\/li>\n<li>Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Monday is an awful way to spend 1\/7th of your life. When I&#8217;m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. OK, so what&#8217;s the speed of dark? Depression&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[49],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=322"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6442,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions\/6442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}