{"id":4289,"date":"2018-03-22T07:54:52","date_gmt":"2018-03-22T11:54:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=4289"},"modified":"2018-04-09T22:49:07","modified_gmt":"2018-04-10T02:49:07","slug":"a-dozen-excellent-puns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=4289","title":{"rendered":"A dozen excellent puns"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- [if gte mso 9]><xml>\n<w:WordDocument>\n<w:View>Normal<\/w:View>\n<w:Zoom>0<\/w:Zoom>\n<w:PunctuationKerning\/>\n<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas\/>\n<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false<\/w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>\n<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false<\/w:IgnoreMixedContent>\n<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false<\/w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>\n<w:Compatibility>\n<w:BreakWrappedTables\/>\n<w:SnapToGridInCell\/>\n<w:WrapTextWithPunct\/>\n<w:UseAsianBreakRules\/>\n<w:DontGrowAutofit\/>\n<w:UseFELayout\/>\n<\/w:Compatibility>\n<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4<\/w:BrowserLevel>\n<\/w:WordDocument>\n<\/xml><![endif]--><\/p>\n<p><!-- [if gte mso 9]><xml>\n<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState=\"false\" LatentStyleCount=\"156\">\n<\/w:LatentStyles>\n<\/xml><![endif]--><!-- [if !mso]><object classid=\"clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D\" id=ieooui><\/object>\n\n\n\n<style>\nst1\\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) }<br \/>\n<\/style>\n\n<![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 10]>\n\n\n\n<style>\n \/* Style Definitions *\/<br \/>\n table.MsoNormalTable<br \/>\n\t{mso-style-name:\"Table Normal\";<br \/>\n\tmso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;<br \/>\n\tmso-tstyle-colband-size:0;<br \/>\n\tmso-style-noshow:yes;<br \/>\n\tmso-style-parent:\"\";<br \/>\n\tmso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;<br \/>\n\tmso-para-margin:0cm;<br \/>\n\tmso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;<br \/>\n\tmso-pagination:widow-orphan;<br \/>\n\tfont-size:10.0pt;<br \/>\n\tfont-family:\"Times New Roman\";<br \/>\n\tmso-fareast-font-family:\"Times New Roman\";<br \/>\n\tmso-ansi-language:#0400;<br \/>\n\tmso-fareast-language:#0400;<br \/>\n\tmso-bidi-language:#0400;}<br \/>\n<\/style>\n\n<![endif]--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can&#8217;t put it down.<\/li>\n<li>Atheism is a non-prophet organization.<\/li>\n<li>All the toilets in New York&#8217;s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.<\/li>\n<li>When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.<\/li>\n<li>I didn&#8217;t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.<\/li>\n<li>This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I&#8217;d never met herbivore.<\/li>\n<li>I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.<\/li>\n<li>Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn&#8217;t control her pupils?<\/li>\n<li>I know a guy who&#8217;s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.<\/li>\n<li>Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: \u201cYou stay here; I\u2019ll go on a head.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Chris George provides reliable PR &amp; GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @<\/em>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/cgacommunications.com\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">CG&amp;A COMMUNICATIONS<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.\u201d I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. I&#8217;m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can&#8217;t put it down. Atheism&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[40],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4289"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4289"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9585,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4289\/revisions\/9585"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}