{"id":4428,"date":"2018-10-06T07:38:37","date_gmt":"2018-10-06T11:38:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=4428"},"modified":"2018-10-10T23:12:30","modified_gmt":"2018-10-11T03:12:30","slug":"thanksgiving-gaffaws-at-the-expense-of-the-turkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=4428","title":{"rendered":"Thanksgiving gaffaws (at the expense of the turkey)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- [if gte mso 9]><xml>\n<w:WordDocument>\n<w:View>Normal<\/w:View>\n<w:Zoom>0<\/w:Zoom>\n<w:PunctuationKerning\/>\n<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas\/>\n<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false<\/w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>\n<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false<\/w:IgnoreMixedContent>\n<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false<\/w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>\n<w:Compatibility>\n<w:BreakWrappedTables\/>\n<w:SnapToGridInCell\/>\n<w:WrapTextWithPunct\/>\n<w:UseAsianBreakRules\/>\n<w:DontGrowAutofit\/>\n<w:UseFELayout\/>\n<\/w:Compatibility>\n<w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4<\/w:BrowserLevel>\n<\/w:WordDocument>\n<\/xml><![endif]--><\/p>\n<p><!-- [if gte mso 9]><xml>\n<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState=\"false\" LatentStyleCount=\"156\">\n<\/w:LatentStyles>\n<\/xml><![endif]--><!-- [if gte mso 10]>\n\n\n\n<style>\n \/* Style Definitions *\/<br \/>\n table.MsoNormalTable<br \/>\n\t{mso-style-name:\"Table Normal\";<br \/>\n\tmso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;<br \/>\n\tmso-tstyle-colband-size:0;<br \/>\n\tmso-style-noshow:yes;<br \/>\n\tmso-style-parent:\"\";<br \/>\n\tmso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;<br \/>\n\tmso-para-margin:0cm;<br \/>\n\tmso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;<br \/>\n\tmso-pagination:widow-orphan;<br \/>\n\tfont-size:10.0pt;<br \/>\n\tfont-family:\"Times New Roman\";<br \/>\n\tmso-ansi-language:#0400;<br \/>\n\tmso-fareast-language:#0400;<br \/>\n\tmso-bidi-language:#0400;}<br \/>\n<\/style>\n\n<![endif]--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-9904\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/turkey2-1-300x297.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"297\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/turkey2-1-300x297.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/turkey2-1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/turkey2-1.jpg 404w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.<\/li>\n<li>What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?\u00a0 If your father could see you now, he&#8217;d turn over in his gravy.<\/li>\n<li>Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it.<\/li>\n<li>Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken&#8217;s day off.<\/li>\n<li>What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck himself!<\/li>\n<li>Why do turkeys always go, &#8220;gobble, gobble&#8221;?\u00a0 Because they never learned good table manners!<\/li>\n<li>What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, hubble, hubble.<\/li>\n<li>Using a new recipe, my wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it until it was brown. Twenty-four hours later, the aluminum foil was still silver.<\/li>\n<li>Every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas you see such helpful articles on &#8220;How To Carve A Turkey&#8221;.\u00a0 And, they&#8217;re really practical.\u00a0 Now, if I can only find a butcher who sells those turkeys with the dotted lines on them.<\/li>\n<li>Why are the cranberries red? Because they saw the turkey dressing!<\/li>\n<li>A man went to get a turkey from a live poultry farm. &#8220;Do you have any turkeys going cheap?&#8221; he asked. &#8220;Nope,&#8221; said the owner. &#8220;All our turkey go &#8216;gobble, gobble, gobble.'&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Asked to write a composition entitled, &#8220;What I&#8217;m thankful for on Thanksgiving,&#8221; little Timothy wrote, &#8220;I am thankful that I&#8217;m not a turkey.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><em>Have a happy Thanksgiving all! Gobble, gobble!<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Chris George provides reliable PR &amp; GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @<\/em>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/cgacommunications.com\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">CG&amp;A COMMUNICATIONS<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?\u00a0 If your father could see you now, he&#8217;d turn over in his gravy. Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it. Why did the turkey cross the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[46],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4428"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4428"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9905,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4428\/revisions\/9905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}