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A research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element known to science.\u00a0 The new element has been tentatively named “Governmentium “. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.<\/p>\n
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These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.<\/p>\n
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Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.<\/p>\n
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Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.<\/p>\n
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This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.\u00a0 The hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass.”<\/p>\n
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