{"id":5217,"date":"2014-06-15T21:13:45","date_gmt":"2014-06-16T01:13:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=5217"},"modified":"2014-06-28T08:38:22","modified_gmt":"2014-06-28T12:38:22","slug":"zen-musings-not-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=5217","title":{"rendered":"Zen Musings (not really)"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.<\/li>\n<li>Sex is like air. It\u2019s not that important unless you aren\u2019t getting any.<\/li>\n<li>No one is listening until you fart.<\/li>\n<li>Always remember you\u2019re unique. Just like everyone else.<\/li>\n<li>Never test the depth of the water with both feet.<\/li>\n<li>If you think nobody cares whether you\u2019re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.<\/li>\n<li>Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you\u2019re a mile away and you have their shoes.<\/li>\n<li>If at first you don\u2019t succeed, skydiving is not for you.<\/li>\n<li>Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.<\/li>\n<li>If you lend someone $100 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.<\/li>\n<li>If you tell the truth, you don\u2019t have to remember anything.<\/li>\n<li>Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.<\/li>\n<li>Good judgment comes from bad experience and most of that comes from bad judgment.<\/li>\n<li>A closed mouth gathers no foot.<\/li>\n<li>There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.<\/li>\n<li>Generally speaking, you aren\u2019t learning much when your lips are moving.<\/li>\n<li>Experience is something you don\u2019t get until just after you need it.<\/li>\n<li>We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse. Then things just keep getting worse.<\/li>\n<li>Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>(ed. &#8211; This was a re-post that originally appeared in By George Journal in January 2011. The material was forwarded to us by our good friend Dick Inwood.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It\u2019s not that important unless you aren\u2019t getting any. No one&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[46],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5217"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5217"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5217\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5218,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5217\/revisions\/5218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}