{"id":6420,"date":"2020-04-03T09:15:04","date_gmt":"2020-04-03T13:15:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=6420"},"modified":"2020-04-04T06:23:27","modified_gmt":"2020-04-04T10:23:27","slug":"puns-for-educated-minds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/?p=6420","title":{"rendered":"Puns for Educated Minds"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.<\/li>\n<li>Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!<\/li>\n<li>A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.<\/li>\n<li>I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.<\/li>\n<li>Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.<\/li>\n<li>England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .<\/li>\n<li>I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.<\/li>\n<li>They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.<\/li>\n<li>I changed my iPod&#8217;s name to Titanic. It&#8217;s syncing now.<\/li>\n<li>Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.<\/li>\n<li>I know a guy who&#8217;s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.<\/li>\n<li>I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.<\/li>\n<li>This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I&#8217;d never met herbivore.<\/li>\n<li>When chemists die, apparently they barium.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can&#8217;t put it down.<\/li>\n<li>I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.<\/li>\n<li>I didn&#8217;t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.<\/li>\n<li>Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn&#8217;t control her pupils?<\/li>\n<li>When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.<\/li>\n<li>Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.<\/li>\n<li>What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.<\/li>\n<li>I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.<\/li>\n<li>All the toilets in New York &#8216;s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.<\/li>\n<li>I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.<\/li>\n<li>Velcro &#8211; what a rip off !<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>(ed. &#8211; Thank you to our friend and chief punster Dick Inwood for this Friday amusement.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Chris George provides reliable PR &amp; GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @<\/em>\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/cgacommunications.com\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">CG&amp;A COMMUNICATIONS<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool &#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[40],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6420"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6420"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11245,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6420\/revisions\/11245"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bygeorgejournal.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}