1\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that\u00a0most people die of natural causes.<\/p>\n
2\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick\u00a0and the dead.<\/p>\n
3\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Life is sexually transmitted.<\/p>\n
4\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at\u00a0which one can die.<\/p>\n
5\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.<\/p>\n
6\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,\u00a0lying in hospitals dying of nothing.<\/p>\n
7\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?<\/p>\n
8\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.<\/p>\n
9\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.<\/p>\n
10\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.\u00a0 Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it\u00a0normal.<\/p>\n
11\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?<\/p>\n
12\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,\u00a0‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things\u00a0and drink whatever\u00a0comes out?’<\/p>\n
13\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?<\/p>\n
14\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you\u00a0get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?<\/p>\n
15\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?<\/p>\n
16\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is\u00a0made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?<\/p>\n
17\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?<\/p>\n
18\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Does pushing the elevator button more than once make\u00a0it arrive faster?<\/p>\n
19\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?<\/p>\n
20\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email\u00a0address?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
(ed. – Thank you to our friend Dick Inwood for providing this diversion. These are also great questions to ask on humpday, to help you get through, or on a Friday afternoon when you are watching the clock.)<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n