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<\/p>\nQuestion – Why are Irish jokes so simple? \u00a0Answer – So the English can understand them.<\/p>\n
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The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they’re always assured of having a worthy opponent.<\/p>\n
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Definition of an Irish husband:\u00a0 He hasn’t kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.<\/p>\n
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Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.\u00a0 Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.<\/p>\n
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An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?” “Who told you that?” asked Paddy.<\/p>\n
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Reilly went to trial for armed robbery.\u00a0 The jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.”\u00a0 “That’s grand!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”<\/p>\n
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Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying on that dress in the window?”\u00a0 Shopkeeper: “I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”<\/p>\n
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Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, “Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantle piece?”\u00a0 “No,” said himself, “but I’m gettin’ closer all the time.”<\/p>\n
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Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?\u00a0 A. A bachelor.<\/p>\n
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Finnegan: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning.\u00a0 I can’t break her of it.\u00a0 Keenan: What on earth is she doin’ at that time?\u00a0 Finnegan: Waitin’ for me to come home.<\/p>\n
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Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.\u00a0 “Quick!” he said.\u00a0 “Send an ambulance, my wife is goin’ to have a\u00a0baby\u201d!\u00a0 “Tell me, is this her first baby?” the intern asked.\u00a0 “No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’.”<\/p>\n
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“O’Ryan,” asked the druggist, “did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?”\u00a0 “It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”<\/p>\n
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Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to\u00a0arrive?<\/p>\n
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