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Daily Affirmations for the Office

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain. As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet. When someone hurts me, forgiveness…

10 comments sure to turn heads in your office

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Some people cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. You’re never too old to learn something stupid. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.  It appears your desk is a work station. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. The voices in my head may not be real, but they…

Double-takes Wordplay

Let’s take everyday words and do a double-take… Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.…

Oxymoronica

Dr. Mardy Grothe is a ‘wordsmith extraordinaire’ and he is an author of many books that take an in-depth look at some of the more amusing elements of our English language. A case in point is his book entitled Oxymoronica. By Dr. Grothe’s own definition, oxymoronica is a noun that means: “Any compilation of phrases or quotations that initially appear illogical or nonsensical, but upon reflection, make a good deal of sense and are often profoundly true.” The following list of oxymorons is concerning ‘writers’ and it is one of the many treasures found within the book Oxymoronica. It took…

Top 10 punny memes recently shared

Over the past two weeks we have had a lot of fun at By George sharing punny memes in our Facebook and Twitter streams. Here are our top 10 – and we thank all our followers who participated in our antics!!   Join us at the By George Journal on Facebook and Twitter. Enjoy our daily injections of provocative posts. Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

6 more punny “shaggy dog” stories

1) The Nomads In the great desert lived a bunch of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank, due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man’s strength and courage came from his beard, and thus the man with the biggest beard was their chief.   After leading the band for many years, Benny began to feel uncomfortable wearing the beards, in this hot and dusty land. He wanted to shave it off, so he called his council together to get their advice.   When he said he wanted to shave, the councilmen were shocked. One said,…