Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each…
A tourist walked into a curio shop in Toronto. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like, life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so striking he decided he must have it. He took it to the owner: “How much for the bronze rat?” “Twelve dollars for…
The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” However, in the Canadian Government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Appointing a…
Here is “the epic” collection of political jokes from the campaign trail. By George is re-publishing its political jokes and quotes book with many more jokes and feature sections so that we can laugh all the way through the nightly news. This 150-page-plus e-book is bursting with funny guffaws, “shaggy-dog” stories and sideways jokes about…
While walking down the street one day, a Liberal politician was tragically hit by a truck and died. His soul arrived in heaven and was met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around…
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road,…
I asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister of Canada one day. Both of her parents, Liberal supporters, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?” She replied,…
At a stop in Regina, a CBC reporter scanned the crowd of a Liberal rally for a possible interview. She decided to speak with an older farmer who was observing the events with some amusement. They spoke about Leader Justin Trudeau and the possibility of him being back in 24 Sussex in a matter of…
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she was a Liberal. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Liberals too. Not really knowing what a Liberal was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands exploded into the air like fleshy fireworks. There was, however, one exception. A…
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealth out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. When half of…
An elderly Canadian priest lay on his death bed. He sent a message for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the federal Finance Minister Bill Morneau to come to the hospital. When they arrived they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them…
Curtis and Leroy saw an ad in the Kitchener Record and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry fellers, I have some bad news; the mule died last night.” Curtis and Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.” The…
During a lull between speeches at the recent Liberal convention, Sophie Grégeiore-Trudeau leaned over to chat with the PMs Chief of Staff Gerald Butts. “You know, I bought Justin a parrot for Christmas. That bird is so smart, Justin has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred words!” “Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” said Butts,…
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence on Parliament Hill. One is from Ottawa, another is from Toronto, and the third is from Montreal. All three go with a government official to examine the fence. The Ottawa contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a…
An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER doctor appeared wearing his scrubs and a long face. “Sadly,” he said, “I’m afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.” “Oh, Dear God!”…
Once upon a time there was a King who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and enquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the King went fishing with his wife, the Queen….
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very Liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favour of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her…
When campaigning along the streets of Toronto, Justin Trudeau ducked into a barber shop and asked the barber, “How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will the haircut look?” The barber replied, “Just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous.” An hour and fifteen minutes later Trudeau looked into…