Here is a tongue-in-cheek list of rules for those who wish to maintain a skeptical outlook.

1. Do not let what you think get in the way of what you see.
2. Do not let what you see determine what you think, for appearances are deceptive.
3. Be omnivorous in your tastes.
4. The only way to see something whole is from several points of view.
5. The closer you come to reality the more it is a mystery, and the more unimaginable it is that you or anything else exists.
6. The only truth is in scrupulous satisfaction over time.
7. Develop principles that you are willing to abandon, but not easily.
8. When anything is too sacred to joke about, the cause is fear.
9. If you are skeptical of faith and reason, what is left as a basis for decision? Everything, so long as you are prepared to be wrong.
10. Death is the sunlight that makes all things visible.

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each.  This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.  In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

(Now you have a better understanding of how stockbrokers work.)

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Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

• Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
• Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
• Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• If you are too open minded, your brains will fall out.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
• Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
• Going to church does not make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
• Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he will be a mile away – and barefoot.
• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
• A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
• If you choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
• Always yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
• Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

(ed. – This is a repost, originally appearing in By George Journal in October 2009.)

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

• Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.
• Don’t be so open-minded your brains fall out.
• There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.
• Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• If you’re too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.
• When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
• A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
• There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
• Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
• An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
• If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.
• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
• They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.
• It’s a 5 o’clock dictum: Never do today what you can put off to tomorrow. And never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Chris George, providing reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot and she spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
– I Know My Rights
– I Want It Now
– Someone Else Is To Blame
– I’m A Victim
– Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.  If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

• In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
• I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
• I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
• I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
• I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
• As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
• When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
• Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
• My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
• I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
• I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
• Joan of Arc heard voices too.
• Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
• I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
• Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
• A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
• I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
• False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
• I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
• The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

(ed. – This humour is a repost, originally appearing in By George Journal in October 2009.)

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Outside England ‘s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. The fees for cars ($1.40), for buses (about $7). For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant…..

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo’s own responsibility.

The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.

The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day — for 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars…… and no one even knows his name.

(ed. – This news story was from the London Times – sent to us by our friend in Ottawa, Dick Inwood. Of course, it got us thinking of making an easy buck and retiring… )

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.