A dozen questions for a Monday morning

  1. Why can’t women put on mascara and men shave with their mouth closed?
  2. Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?
  3. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  4. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  5. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
  6. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
  7. Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?
  8. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  9. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
  10. Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
  11. Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cosmetics at the front?
  12. Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

(ed. Our thanks to our friend Dick Inwood, who keeps us amused with his trickle of humourous e-mails.)

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