Category Archives: The Lighter Side

Humourous articles and classic jokes

Listen here…

Having already downed a few power drinks,

she turned around, faced me, looked me

straight in the eye and said, “Listen here.

I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere,

their place, my place, in the car, front door,

back door, on the ground, standing up,

sitting down, naked or with clothes on…

It doesn’t matter to me I just love it.”

 

With my eyes now wide with interest

I responded,“No kidding…

I’m in Government too. 

Are you Provincial or Federal?”

 

Chris George is an Ottawa-based government affairs advisor and wordsmith, president of CG&A COMMUNICATIONS. Contact: ChrisG.George@gmail.com

Federal Elections Memes

The last two Canadian federal elections in 2015 and 2015 have seen increased use of memes on social media platforms — some funny, but most unkind. Here is a collection of some of the more popular Liberal and Conservative salvos that hit the mark for their partisan audiences.

 

Chris George is an Ottawa-based government affairs advisor and wordsmith, president of CG&A COMMUNICATIONS. Contact: ChrisG.George@gmail.com

 

 

Justin Trudeau memes re the #KokaneeGrope

Flashback July 2018

Headline news for the past week has been the reporting of this Spring’s worst-kept #MeToo secret in Ottawa – the unsolicited groping of a woman reporter years prior by Justin Trudeau. What has made this dated incident more of a story is our feminist prime minister’s seeming denial that anything happened.

Thus sprang forth the witty series of memes with hashtags: #KokaneeGrope and #TrudeauRemembers. These cheeky memes all repeat Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s retort when asked about the groping incident: “I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.”

This humour (unexpectedly) grabs you.

The Battle of Waterloo… 

“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.” -Justin Bonaparte

The Battle of Little Bighorn…

“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.” -General Justin Custer

The Ides of March…

“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.” -Justin Caesar

The maiden Voyage of the Titanic April 15, 1912…

“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.” -Captain Justin Smith

The French Revolution, October 16 1793…

“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.” -Justin Antoinette

The Trial of Ned Stark…

“I had a good day that day. I don’t remember any negative interactions that day at all.” -Joffrey Trudeau

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Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

If you were Prime Minister…

I asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister of Canada some day.

Both of her parents, NDP supporters, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.” Her parents beamed, and said, “Welcome to the NDP Party!”

“Wow…what a worthy goal!” I told her. I continued, “But you don’t have to wait until you’re Prime Minister to do that. You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out. You can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I smiled and said, “Welcome to the Conservative Party.”

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

Chris George is an Ottawa-based government affairs advisor and wordsmith, president of CG&A COMMUNICATIONS. Contact: ChrisG.George@gmail.com

 

The Very Best Irish Jokes

Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died. The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife.
The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.”
The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!”
The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”

 

Never iron a four leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck.

 

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven’t got the joke yet.

 

One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.
“Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory”
Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness stout and drowned”
Mrs McMillen starts crying. “Oh don’t tell me that, did he at least go quickly?”
Paddy shakes his head. “Not really – he got out 3 times to pee!”

 

There are only three kinds of men who don’t understand women: young men, old men, and middle-aged men. (Irish saying)

 

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

 

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
The man said, “I do Father.”
The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.
“Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.
The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go on a trip right now.”

 

Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.
After a while, one amazed onlooker said: “Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.”

 

Irish diplomacy – the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they’ll look forward to the trip.

 

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says, “Are you on foot or in the car?”
Billy says, “In the car.”
Paddy says, “That’s the quickest way.”

 

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”
The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

 

An Irishman goes into a bar in America and orders three whiskeys. The barman asks: “Would it be better for if I put all three shots in one glass?”
The Irishman replies: “No! I have two other brothers back at home, so every time I come into a pub, I order a shot for them both.”
The following week, the Irishman orders just two whiskeys.
The barman asks: “Did something happen one of your brothers?” “Oh no,” replies the Irishman. “I just decided to quit drinking!”

 

The Irish way – Now don’t be talking about yourself while you’re here. We’ll surely be doing that after you leave.

 

The Absolute Best Irish Joke of All-Tiime

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”
The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”
The first guy says, “So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?”
The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”
The first guy responds, “Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?”
The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”
The first guy says, “Faith & it’s a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?”
The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.”
The first guy gets really excited, and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”
The other guy answers, “Well, now, I graduated in 1964.”
The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self.”
About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”
The guy asks, “Why do you say that?”
Bartender responds, “Well, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

 

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer or experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

The Muppets! Offensive?

The Disney Channel has just released five seasons of “The Muppet Show” but they have done so with a warning to the next generation of viewers. The disclaimers read: 

“This program includes negative depictions and/or mistreatment of people or cultures. These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now,”

“Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact, learn from it and spark conversation to create a more inclusive future together. Disney is committed to creating stories with inspirational and aspirational themes that reflect the rich diversity of the human experience around the globe,”

So, the Muppets are “offensive” — according to Disney (as are those dangerous classics “Peter Pan” and “Dumbo” — according to Disney).  Offensive?! 

Given this disheartening news about the fragile psychic state of our youth today, By George honours this classic puppet troupe for the older generations who remember the joy and laughter (and how to laugh) watching this show.

 

Offensive…. 

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer or experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS

Quips on Love

eggHere are a dozen quips on the subject of love that are sure to liven up your conversations and toasts throughout this weekend. Enjoy!

  • “Love reasons without reason”. – William Shakespeare
  • “Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” – James Baldwin
  • “Caution in love? No! That’s like eating a hard-boiled egg with the shell still on it.” – Richard Needham
  • “Respect is love in plain clothes.” – Frankie Byrne
  • “The greatest love is a mother’s; then a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s.” – Polish proverb
  • “He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.” – Ring Lardner
  • “Love teaches even asses to dance.” – French Proverb
  • “Love, and you shall be loved. All love is mathematically just, as much as the two sides of an algebraic equation.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Only little boys and old men sneer at love.” – Louis Auchincloss
  • “All mankind love a lover.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Let there be spaces in your Togetherness.” – Kahlil Gibran
  • “If there is anything better than to be loved, it is loving.” – Anonymous
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Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a trusted executive assistant, a communications can-do guy, or a go-to-scribe? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Bernie’s Inauguration Memes

By George picked 20 of the best memes lampooning Bernie Sanders sitting at the inauguration ceremonies. Bernie has gone viral in social media in the last few days. Enjoy these selected gems and let us know if we missed your favourites!

In no particular order, here are 25 of our favourite #Bernie guffaws…

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

By George FAV Joe Biden Memes

Joe Biden is every political pundits’ and comedians’ dream. His habit of speaking gibberish and confusing thoughts will be a subject of endless sport. Here are our favourite memes of the man who is to be U.S. President today.

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

6 punny “shaggy dog” stories

1) Quasimodo

After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous, “You have no arms!”

“No matter,” said the man, “Observe!”

He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo.

Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, “Bishop, who was this man?”

“I don’t know his name,” the bishop sadly replied, “but his face rings a bell.”

 

2) After Quasimodo

(But wait, there’s more…) The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bellringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, “Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.”

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot.

Two monks, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy,rushed up the stairs to his side.

“What has happened?” the first breathlessly asked, “Who is this man?” “I don’t know his name,” sighed the distraught bishop, “but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.

 

3) On a tiny island…

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.  Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe’s elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines.

After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem.

Soon, the king’s tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king.

Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him.

The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: “People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.”

 

4) Ollie and Sam

Ollie Oyster and Sam Clam were best friends. They grew up together, went to school together, and even played in a rock band together. One day they had a horrible car accident, and both died.

Ollie had lived a good life, and went to heaven. Sam went to the other place.

Ollie wanted to play in a rock band again, just like before he died. But the only instrument allowed in heaven was the harp. He was a little sad about it, but learned to play the harp anyway, and became pretty good about it.

But Ollie Oyster missed his good friend Sam Clam. One day he asked God if he could visit Sam. God said “Well, we dont normally do that kind of thing. But you were a very good oyster, so I can make a small exception. I’ll let you visit Sam for one day. But the catch is, you have to take your harp with you. They dont have harps in hell, so when you want to get back into heaven just come to the front gate and play your harp, and we’ll know its you and let you in.”

Ollie was overjoyed, grabbed his harp, and went to visit his old friend.

Ollie found Sam, and they soon caught up on old times. Musical instruments of all kinds were allowed in hell, and Sam had formed a band, made a lot of money, and eventually opened his own disco. The two friends partied the night away in Sam’s disco, talking about old times, drinking heavily, and having a great time.

Finally, Ollie realized that time had gotten away from him, and he had only minutes to get back to heaven. He rushed out of the disco, leaving his harp behind.

He made it to the front gates of heaven, and pounded on the door. St Peter peeked out, and said “God told me you would be coming back, but I cant let you in until I hear you play your harp!”

Ollie cried “Oh No! I left my harp in Sam Clam’s disco!”

 

5) There was this chief…

An Native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant.

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

“Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?”

The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”

 

6) The Twins

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

 

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

A favourite Sir John A. cartoon

Sir John A. Macdonald is seen in this 1873 caricature
as the heroic orator and leader Ulysses.
With his remarkable face and colourful habits,
our first Prime Minister was the favourite
subject for many cartoonists of the day –
all who held an admiration for the man.

(Photo credit: National Archives)

Chris George is an Ottawa-based government affairs advisor and wordsmith, president of CG&A COMMUNICATIONS. Contact: ChrisG.George@gmail.com

#FakeChristmasSongFacts

#FakeChristmasSongFacts from Twitter! Very funny…

littledrummerboy-bookii

The full version of Little Drummer Boy has a twenty minute drum solo.

Silent Night is best performed by mimes.

Do You Hear What I Hear was inspired by an ear exam.

Only 2 Of The Hens Were French. The Other 1 Was Portuguese.

There Is A 3rd Verse Where Frosty Goes Berserk And Kills All The Townspeople.

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” was originally written during a Los Angeles traffic jam in July.

Silent Night was written by a man who snored like a freight train.

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer eerily predicted the 2016 Presidential election results.

Grandma didn’t get run over by a reindeer; she was assaulted for being a Trump supporter.

Original version of “Rocking around the Christmas Tree” had way more cowbell.

Those 5 golden rings were gold-plated because that jackass spent all his money on birds.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus eventually led to a brutal child custody battle.

Whoever wrote Silent Night never had any kids.

After Santa asked Rudolph to be his guide, he then turned to the other reindeer and said ”Deal With It.”

The person who wrote “Noel” was dyslexic and it was supposed to be about his brother Leon.

The only thing God and Satan can agree upon? Christmas songs shall play 24/7 for eternity in *all* Circles of Hell!

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Join By George Journal on Twitter – @ByGeorgeJournal

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Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

 

 

This just in… Christmas is to be Downsized

Today’s global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary.

  • The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.
  • The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.
  • The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.
  • The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.
  • The five golden rings have been put on hold by the management.
  • Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.
  • The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.
  • The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times.
  • Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.
  • As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought.
  • The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility.
  • Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.
  • Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.
  • Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.
  • Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cut back on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.
  • We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.
  • Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney’s association seeking expansion to include the legal profession (”thirteen lawyers-a-suing”), action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, there will be a request for management to scrutinize the “Snow White Division” to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

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Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Top-10 Things to Say about a Christmas Gift You Don’t Like

10. Hey! There’s a gift!

9. Well, well, well …

8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit.

7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

4. I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

2. To think — I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

 

And the Number One Thing to say about a Christmas gift you don’t like:

1. I really don’t deserve this.

 

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Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Some Christmas Humour

Cryptic Christmas Card

A man sent his friend a cryptic Christmas card. It read:

A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.

The recipient puzzled over it for weeks, finally gave up and wrote asking for an explanation. He later received the explanation: “No L.”

 

The Real Santa?

The local newscaster was with the crowd of parade watchers, welcoming Santa as he arrived in town, and in a live interview asked a bouncy 4-year old girl if she had talked with this Santa yet to give him her Christmas list.

“No” she replied emphatically.

“Are you going to talk with Santa?” the newscaster asked.

“NO” once again was the most definite answer which was not the reaction that he was expecting at all!

“Why?” he curiously asked the little one.

“Because the real Santa is at the Mall.”

 

Who is the Real Virgin?

A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.

Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, “Which virgin was the mother of Jesus?  The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?”

 

The Wrong Gift

The parents began to assemble the special Christmas gift they had for their children.   They had ordered a kit for a tree house and received the plans for it.   However, the materials they received were for a sailboat.

They wrote the company to complain.

The company’s reply:  “While we regret the inconvenience this mistake must have cause you, it is nothing compared to that of the man who is out on a lake somewhere trying to sail your tree house.”

 

The Seasonal Response

The store’s Santa Claus gave Jeanie a candy cane.  Her mother says, “What do you say, Jeanie?”  Jeanie looks up at Santa and says, “Charge it!”

 

God’s Not Deaf

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents’ house the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers.

The younger one began praying at the top of his lungs:

“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…”
“I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…”

His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, “Why are you shouting? God’s not deaf, you know?”

The younger brother replied. “Yes I know God’s not deaf, but Grandmother is.”

 

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

“I’d rather be cycling.” – Santa

Here is a shout out to all our cycling friends. Did you know that I overheard Santa the other day say to Mrs. Claus: “I’d rather be cycling.” So, that gave me an idea….

By George presents a dozen Christmas images of Santa and his bike for all who can’t wait for spring thaw and dry roads.

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.