“The Epic” Political Jokes & Quotes Book

Here is “the epic” collection of political jokes from the campaign trail.

By George is re-publishing its political jokes and quotes book with many more jokes and feature sections so that we can laugh all the way to the ballot box this October federal election.

This 150-page-plus e-book is bursting with funny guffaws, “shaggy-dog” stories and sideways jokes about politicians and politics. The collection has some of the absolute best classics. It also has a selection of the most humourist and provocative memes culled from Facebook and Twitter.

Epic Political Jokes & Quotes will put a smile on your face, one page after another. For many, it is a sure tonic for surviving the heighten rhetoric of our political leaders. For politicos, this is a great resource that you can pull material from for your next Party event.

Order your e-copy of  Epic Political Jokes & Quotes from the By George E-Bookshelf

The e-copy is sent as a pdf, suitable to open on your mobile device or lap-top, and easily downloaded to enjoy on your Kindle Reader. 

 

#LOL #Humpday Memes

Here are six humourous memes to share and help get your friends and colleagues over the hump of the week! (Right click and save to your computer for use in emails and social media platforms.) Happy Wednesday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, here is a bonus image to forward to those who may be holding on by a thread and may need a little extra boost!

 

 

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

 

 

You know you’re an avid hockey fan if…

  • You keep a picture of the Stanley Cup in your wallet in front of the picture of your family.
  • All your kids are either named Gordie, Bobby or Wayne.
  • Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an Eggo in the middle of the table.
  • You punish your kids with “minors,” “majors,” and “misconducts.”
  • You think the Canadian National Anthem is the theme from “Hockey Night in Canada.”
  • Instead of duct tape, you use hockey tape to fix everything.
  • You call a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame a “pilgrimage.”
  • You went into a bank because it advertised “Free Checking”….and walked out disappointed.
  • You’re not allowed to play chess simply because the first time you played, you misunderstood the meaning of the word “Check.”
  • When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns red, you get really excited and chant, “He shoots!  He scores!”
  • Your cure for everything is a couple extra-strength aspirin and a shot of Novocain.
  • You can pronounce anything in French, yet you have no idea what it means.
  • You can say “Khabibulin,” “Tkachuk,” “Jagr,” “Leschyshyn” and “Nikolishin” without getting tongue-tied.
  • Every time you see the name “Roy” you automatically pronounce it “Wah.”
  • Your closet is divided into 2 sections:  HOME and AWAY
  • Everything in your wardrobe is your team’s colors.
  • When someone says, “two minutes” you respond, “What for!?!”
  • You bake biscuits – burn them black – in dimensions of 3″ by 1.”
  • You own a Zamboni and keep it in the garage while your main car stays in the driveway.
  • You think the proper way to spell the plural of “leaf” is “leafs.”
  • When someone refers to “The Classics,” you think they’re talking about the Original Six.
  • You consider the Forum in Montreal a place of worship.
  • Every time you hear a siren you wonder who scored.
  • Your calendar only runs from October to June.

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Our Dozen FAV Funny Christmas Quotes

  • A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. — Garrison Keillor
  • Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music. — Tom Sims
  • Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home. — Carol Nelson
  • Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. — W. C. Fields
  • There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime.  Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. — P.J. O’Rourke
  • The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. — Johnny Carson
  • Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer…. Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? — Bill Watterson
  • The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C.  This wasn’t for any religious reasons.  They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. — Jay Leno
  • What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. — Phyllis Diller
  • Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. — Victor Borge
  • I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays. — Henry Youngman
  • Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. — Kim Hubbard

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Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

#FakeChristmasSongFacts

#FakeChristmasSongFacts from Twitter! Very funny…

littledrummerboy-bookii

The full version of Little Drummer Boy has a twenty minute drum solo.

Silent Night is best performed by mimes.

Do You Hear What I Hear was inspired by an ear exam.

Only 2 Of The Hens Were French. The Other 1 Was Portuguese.

There Is A 3rd Verse Where Frosty Goes Berserk And Kills All The Townspeople.

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” was originally written during a Los Angeles traffic jam in July.

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer eerily predicted the 2016 Presidential election results.

Grandma didn’t get run over by a reindeer She was assaulted for being a Trump supporter.

‘ I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas ‘ was the original campaign slogan of Donald Trump

Frosty The Snowman melted because President Trump refused to take the threat of climate change seriously.

Original version of “Rocking around the Christmas Tree” had way more cowbell.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus eventually led to a brutal child custody battle.

After Santa asked Rudolph to be his guide, he then turned to the other reindeer and said,”Deal With It.”

The only thing God and Satan can agree upon? Christmas songs shall play 24/7 for eternity in *all* Circles of Hell!

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Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.