- In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
- I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.
- I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
- I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
- I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
- As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
- When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
- Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
- My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
- I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
- I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
- Joan of Arc heard voices too.
- Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
- I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”
- Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
- A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
- I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
- False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
- I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
- The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
(ed. – This humour is a repost, originally appearing in By George Journal in October 2009.)
Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.
