From the hundreds of puns you will find in the By George Journal archive, here are our dozen favourite puns.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
- A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen and as of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
- Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
- Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France? De-brie was everywhere…
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
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