From the hundreds of puns you will find in the By George Journal archive, here are our dozen favourite puns.

1. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
2. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
3. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
4. All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen and as of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
5. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
6. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
8. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
9. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
10. Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France? De-brie was everywhere…
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

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