Political Definitions explained with Cows

cow

  • TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour. You form a co-operative to tell him how to manage his cow.
  • COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
  • CAPITALISM (AMERICAN STYLE): You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
  • AMERCIAN DEMOCRATIC: You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
  • AMERICAN REPUBLICANISM: You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. So?
  • BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away…
  • SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

(ed. Photo attribution through Creative Commons / CC BY-SA2.0: Dirty Cow, photo by Ian Paterson, and property of http://www.geograph.org.uk/profile/13639)

 

 

 

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