A dozen excellent puns

  • A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
  • When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
  • Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

 

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

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