(Cynical) Proverbs for Today’s World

  • If you are too open minded, your brains will fall out.
  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he will be a mile away – and barefoot.
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  • Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
  • Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  • Always yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
  • Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • Going to church does not make you a Christian, any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
  • If you choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
  • A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.

 

(ed. – This list of proverbs is a repost and has appeared in one form or another in By George a couple of times. Given the absurdity of the United Nations “discussing” with Russia their occupation of Ukraine, we thought these cynical observations passed off as modern proverbs would help us all through the day.)

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