Our North American economy is so bad that…
- McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
- CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
- Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
- When Bill and Hillary Clinton travel together, they have to share a room.
- Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
- Paris Hilton changed her name to Paris Red Roof Inn.
- The Mafia is laying off judges.
- Dr. Seuss is now eating green eggs and ham.
- Ben ate Jerry.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
- I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
So, the other day I went to my bank manager and said, ‘I’d like to start a small business. How do I go about it?’ ‘Simple,’ said the bank manager. ‘Buy a big one and wait.’
Yessirie, I got so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, CPP, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Syria. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
The Canadian economy is so bad that David Suzuki had to leave his Gulfstream on the ground, and use his turboprop to get to the latest climate change rally.