Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Humourous articles and classic jokes
We have all seen these types of lists of questions. Rhetorical. Silly. Puzzling. All designed to simply divert your attention (or that person you have chosen to bug) from the task at hand. So, here’s a list. You can put your pen down or turn your device on mute. Take the time to enjoy these…
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold…
Caution in love? No! That’s like eating a hard-boiled egg with the shell still on it. – Richard Needham
From our recent post about pop culture happenings of 30 years ago, we see that David Letterman started his famous “Top-10 Lists” in 1985. This year, sadly, the popular late-night talk-show host will be airing his last show in May. And we will regrettably lose our nightly source of off-the-wall lists. In advance of this…
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist,…
This obituary was printed in the London Times and it is absolutely dead brilliant. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape….
We received this e-mail last week, a piece supposedly written by John Cleese of Monty Python fame. Here the British comedian is describing the responses from various countries to the rising threats of terrorism. The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from…
Here’s a short story of a wonderful chance encounter… A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye…
“Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. “As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family…
On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten…
Why can’t women put on mascara and men shave with their mouth closed? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?…
In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those…
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any. No one…
One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we’ll need a new definition. — Alvin Toffler You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing is recording it. — Art Buchwald As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind…
1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. 2. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says, “I don’t know.” The…
If you are too open minded, your brains will fall out. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he will be a mile away – and barefoot. A closed mouth gathers no feet. Age is a high price to pay for maturity. Eat well, stay fit,…
We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. – Winston Churchill Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. – Frederic Bastiat Democracy must…
Liberty don’t work near as good in practice as it does in speeches. Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause. Common sense is not an issue in politics; it’s an affliction. If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to…
Truly, the whacky world of political gamesmanship and bureaucratic quagmire has become more complex and tiresome. To make any headway in advancing an issue or taking a stand in Ottawa requires patience, a thick skin and a trusty side-kick to discern whether any progress is to be had. This will be especially true through 2014….
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: Leaps tall building in a single bound; is more powerful than a locomotive; is faster than a speeding bullet; walks on water; discusses policy with God. PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound; is more powerful than a switch engine; is just as fast as a speeding bullet; walks on…