Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Humourous articles and classic jokes
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. – George Bernard Shaw I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. – Winston Churchill Giving money…
Liberty don’t work near as good in practice as it does in speeches. Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause. Common sense is not an issue in politics; it’s an affliction. If you’re riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then…
The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” However, in the Canadian Government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Appointing a…
Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped…
By George saw this on our Twitter feed today…. excellent set of rules to get us over humpday! Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.
So, there was this lawyer and this insurance company in the United States. This is their story. A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the…
Dear Friend, As we progress into 2020, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery. I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in…
Here is “the epic” collection of political jokes from the campaign trail. By George is re-publishing its political jokes and quotes book with many more jokes and feature sections so that we can laugh all the way through the nightly news. This 150-page-plus e-book is bursting with funny guffaws, “shaggy-dog” stories and sideways jokes about…
While walking down the street one day, a Liberal politician was tragically hit by a truck and died. His soul arrived in heaven and was met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around…
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road,…
I asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be Prime Minister of Canada one day. Both of her parents, Liberal supporters, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?” She replied,…
1. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. We get slapped on our butts. Then things get worse. 2. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead; do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either; just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 3….
Why can’t women put on mascara and men shave with their mouth closed? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why don’t…
At a stop in Regina, a CBC reporter scanned the crowd of a Liberal rally for a possible interview. She decided to speak with an older farmer who was observing the events with some amusement. They spoke about Leader Justin Trudeau and the possibility of him being back in 24 Sussex in a matter of…
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she was a Liberal. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Liberals too. Not really knowing what a Liberal was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands exploded into the air like fleshy fireworks. There was, however, one exception. A…
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealth out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. When half of…
An elderly Canadian priest lay on his death bed. He sent a message for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the federal Finance Minister Bill Morneau to come to the hospital. When they arrived they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them…
Curtis and Leroy saw an ad in the Kitchener Record and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry fellers, I have some bad news; the mule died last night.” Curtis and Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.” The…
During a lull between speeches at the recent Liberal convention, Sophie Grégeiore-Trudeau leaned over to chat with the PMs Chief of Staff Gerald Butts. “You know, I bought Justin a parrot for Christmas. That bird is so smart, Justin has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred words!” “Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” said Butts,…
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence on Parliament Hill. One is from Ottawa, another is from Toronto, and the third is from Montreal. All three go with a government official to examine the fence. The Ottawa contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a…