Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his…
(Here’s the test – an absolute favourite of By George’s. Place yourself as the visitor and answer the question posed in this scenario.) During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up…
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t! I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously; no one…
So, are you not curious after the United States election, “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?” DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens. HILLARY CLINTON: What difference does it make why the chicken crossed the road? BERNIE…
One night Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the PM’s RCMP detail if he could please speak to the First Lady in…
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution. Canadian border residents say it’s not uncommon to…
As our politicians are about to escape Ottawa to break for the summer, By George offers this gem: A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I…
The kids filed into class on Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly. “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civic spirit and…
President Barack Obama, and former Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were traveling by car in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them many miles away. They fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they’re in…
Here are a few one-liners, puns and jokes relating to “social media” to insert in your next presentation – or in your next conversation with a tech-fearing person. You just might be addicted to Social Media if you have more facebook friends than in real life… or, you tweet more than you talk when you hear…
Here’s a morning smile (and one particularly humourous for those in the National Capital Region)… An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, “Want coffee.” The waiter says, “Sure chief, coming right up.” He gets the Indian…
Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Toronto Star and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, ”Sorry, fellers, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.” Curtis & Leroy replied, “Well, then just give…
Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Congressman Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor. This is the only…
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer…
When I went to church this morning I overheard a sweet elderly lady in the pew next to me saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just have to share it with you: “Dear Lord, This sure has been a tough four to five years. You have taken my favorite actor…
Our North American economy is so bad that… McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. Dick Cheney took his…
Red Skelton was an accomplished comedian and he had some interesting, personal insight into how to maintain a perfect marriage. He led by example… Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. We also sleep in separate…
A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.” An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do I come here often?” A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra. A young Texan walks into a bar and…
The following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. “Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by…
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each…