Tag Archives: joke

American Know-How

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the “Rowing Team Quality First Program”, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower.

There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year’s racing team was outsourced to India.

 

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Thanksgiving gaffaws (at the expense of the turkey)

  • Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
  • What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?  If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.
  • Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it.
  • Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.
  • What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck himself!
  • Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?  Because they never learned good table manners!
  • What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, hubble, hubble.
  • Using a new recipe, my wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it until it was brown. Twenty-four hours later, the aluminum foil was still silver.
  • Every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas you see such helpful articles on “How To Carve A Turkey”.  And, they’re really practical.  Now, if I can only find a butcher who sells those turkeys with the dotted lines on them.
  • Why are the cranberries red? Because they saw the turkey dressing!
  • A man went to get a turkey from a live poultry farm. “Do you have any turkeys going cheap?” he asked. “Nope,” said the owner. “All our turkey go ‘gobble, gobble, gobble.'”
  • Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” little Timothy wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

Have a happy Thanksgiving all! Gobble, gobble!

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Explaining Politics

MY SON WAS FLUNKING OUT OF COLLEGE SO I TOLD HIM, “YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE.”

HE SAID, “NO.”

I TOLD HIM, “SHE IS BILL GATES’ DAUGHTER.”

HE SAID, “YES.”

I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, “I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON.”

BILL GATES SAID, “NO.”

I TOLD BILL GATES, “MY SON IS THE CEO OF THE WORLD BANK.”

BILL GATES SAID, “OK.”

I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE CEO.

HE SAID, “NO.”

I TOLD HIM, “MY SON IS BILL GATES’ SON-IN-LAW.”

HE SAID, “OK.”

 

AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS.

 

(Thanks to our friend Dick Inwood who sent this wonderful laugh to us this morning! – cg) 

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Murphy’s (other) 15 Laws

  1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest
  4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night
  5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
  9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
  10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
  12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
  13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
  14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

 

Ponder-isms for a Monday morning

1·      I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2·      There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3·        Life is sexually transmitted.

4·      Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5·        The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6·        Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7·      Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8·     Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9·        All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10·      In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11·        How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12·      Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?’

13·      If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14·      Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

15·      If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16·        If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17·      Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18·      Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19·        Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

20·     Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

 

(ed. – Thank you to our friend Dick Inwood for providing this diversion. These are also great questions to ask on humpday, to help you get through, or on a Friday afternoon when you are watching the clock.)

 

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer or experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

It’s “the epic” collection of political jokes and quotes

Here is “the epic” collection of political jokes from the campaign trail.

With just two weeks left in the Ontario election, By George is re-publishing its political jokes and quotes book with many more jokes and feature sections.

This 150-page e-book is bursting with funny guffaws, “shaggy-dog” stories and sideways jokes about politicians and politics. The collection has some of the absolute best classics. It also has a selection of the most humourist and provocative memes culled from Facebook and Twitter.

Epic Political Jokes & Quotes will put a smile on your face, one page after another. For many, it is a sure tonic for surviving the final days of this bitter Ontario campaign. For politicos, this is a great resource that you can pull material from for your next Party event.

Order your e-copy of  Epic Political Jokes & Quotes from the By George E-Bookshelf

Enjoy the read and laugh all the way to the polls!

 

Identifying “Governmentium”

A research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element known to science.  The new element has been tentatively named “Governmentium “. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.  The hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass.”

 

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

 

10 comments sure to turn heads in your office

  1. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
  2. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  3. Some people cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
  4. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  5. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  6. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.  It appears your desk is a work station.
  7. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
  8. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  9. Okay, whatever. I’ve learned never to argue with an idiot.  He’ll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  10. I thought you wanted a career, turns out you just wanted pay checks.

 

(ed. – To clarify, this column is meant to be humourist and it is not advisable to actually utter these phrases to your co-workers – especially to superiors. Use at your own risk.)

Chris George, providing reliable PR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Jokes of the Irish and their drinking

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. “So,” says the cop to the driver,  “where have ya been?”

” Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.

” Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite  a few to drink this evening.”

“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.

“Did you know,” say’s the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d lost me hearing!”

 

 

Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks.  “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya”.

“Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where is my husband?”

“That’s what I’m here to be telling ya, Brenda. “there was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..”
“Oh, God no!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me.”

“I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I’m sorry.”

Finally, she looked up at Tim. “How did it happen, Tim?”

“It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned.”

“Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.  Did he at least go quickly?”

“Well, Brenda… No. In fact, he got out three times to pee.”

 

 

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.

Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.

I got him a Guinness Stout.  He didn’t like it – so I drank it.

Then I got him an Old Style.  He didn’t like it either, so I drank it.

It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.

By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .

I could hardly push the stroller back home.

 

 

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, “ain’t no use knockin’,

there’s no paper on this side either!”

 

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

The Dead Horse Theory

dead-horseThis theory is sometimes referred to as “Government’s Political Correctness.” Here’s the predicament:

 

The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount, then get another horse.” However, in Government, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

  • buying a stronger whip
  • changing riders
  • appointing a committee to study the horse
  • arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses
  • lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included
  • reclassifying the dead horse as “Living-impaired”
  • hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse
  • harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed
  • providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance
  • doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance
  • declaring that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses
  • rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses
  • (and, the choicest strategy) promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position

Government officials will also look to the root causes of the predicament before taking any action, i.e. what kind of parents it had, the horse’s colour, his socioeconomic background, perhaps the horse was bullied, or his mother was single, etc.

It is no wonder that, for some time now, government workers’ saddest refrain has been: It’s been so lonely in the saddle since my horse died…

.

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Trumped (5 memes)

In the last few weeks, since the inauguration of President Donald Trump, By George has received some very funny memes skewering the new American commander-in-chief. Here are 5 of our FAVs!!

 

Trump Supporters’ Bookshelves 

 

#1 Best-Seller for Trump Supporters

 

 

The Post-Super Bowl Press Conference at the White House  

 

If you enjoyed these memes, you may like to view the By George selection of memes from the last week of the U.S. election.

Chris George, providing reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

 

President Trump’s health care package

News Flash:  The American Medical Association has weighed in on Trump’s health care package:

The Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

 

(Thank you to all who stuff our e-mailbox daily with jokes and articles. By George attempts to re-post as many of the funniest political jokes – with the condition that they are not mean spirited. Hope you will enjoy them: posts tagged joke.)

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Trouble in Arizona

This news flash from south of the border…

 

It is forecast that American President Donald Trump will destroy the local Arizona economies in the coming weeks.

 

CNN reports that illegal immigrants are boycotting Arizona by the thousands and moving elsewhere showing their outrage with Donald Trump’s proposed law of sending illegal immigrants back to their native countries.

 

In the small town of Guadalupe, AZ, south of Phoenix, Manuel Renaldo is one of those who are vowing to punish Arizona by leaving. As he loaded his stolen car with his taxpayer-furnished belongings and family of ten, Renaldo told this reporter through an interpreter: “It’s a matter of principle; I refuse to be supported by a state that treats me like a criminal!”

 

The effects of the exodus are already being felt by some Arizona retailers, who are reporting dwindling thefts & sales of beer, tequila, spray paint, and ammunition. Also hit hard are the state hospitals, which have reported a dramatic decline in births and emergency room visits of non-revenue patients.

 

State welfare agencies are preparing to lay off staffs that distribute food stamps and unemployment benefits. Tattoo parlors are in an absolute state of panic.

 

Renaldo told a reporter, through an interpreter, that he and his family are moving to Canada, with a new Liberal government under Justin Trudeau and new higher taxes and hardworking people who will better support him and his family with dignity.

 

The Canadian Prime Minister has reached out to Renaldo and in a welcoming ceremony has scheduled a selfie with the family.

.

(Thank you to all who stuff our e-mailbox daily with jokes and articles. Through 2017, By George will attempt to re-post as many of the funniest political jokes – with the condition that they are not mean spirited. Hope you will enjoy them: posts tagged joke.)

Sunday Smile: Painting the Church

There was a Scottish painter named  Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Lutheran Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:  “Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke..

.

“Repaint! Repaint!  And thin no more!”

 

(ed. – This smile was passed along by friend Mike Siatras of Ottawa. Thank you Mike!)

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

Lindsey Vonn’s replacement

Less than a year ago,

Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn

tore the anterior cruciate, ligament

and medial collateral ligament

in her right knee and

fractured her tibia during a harrowing

ski accident in Schlamding, Austria.

Vonn was airlifted by helicopter to a hospital

in Schladming.

Concerned she wouldn’t be ready

for the 2018 Winter Olympics,

the U.S. Olympic Committee

announced today her spot on

the U.S. Olympic Team would be

filled by Barack Obama.

U.S. Olympic officials said

Obama deserved the spot on the team

because no one has ever

taken a country downhill

faster than he has.

.

(Thank you to all who stuff our e-mailbox daily with jokes and articles. Through 2017, By George will attempt to re-post as many of the funniest political jokes – with the condition that they are not mean spirited. Hope you will enjoy them: posts tagged joke.)

The Dead Horse

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250.

 

The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

 

The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”

 

Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”

 

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

 

Donald said, “Ok then, just bring me the dead horse.”

 

The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”

 

Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

 

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”

 

Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

 

A month later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”

 

Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.”

 

The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

 

Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.”

 

Donald is soon moving into the White House…..

.

(Thank you to all who stuff our e-mailbox daily with jokes and articles. Through 2017, By George will attempt to re-post as many of the funniest political jokes – with the condition that they are not mean spirited. Hope you will enjoy them: posts tagged joke.)

 

 

 

Zen Teachings (not)

  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
  2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.
  3. No one is listening until you fart.
  4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
  5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
  7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  10. If you lend someone $100 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
  11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
  12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
  13. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
  14. Good judgment comes from bad experience and most of that comes from bad judgment.
  15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
  17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
  18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse. Then things just keep getting worse.
  20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

(ed. – Thank you to our friend Dick Inwood, who has sent us these tongue-in-cheek zen musings to help us laugh through our day.)

Chris George, providing reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.

A Failed U.N. Survey

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the U.N.  The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The survey was a complete failure because:

In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.
In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.
In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.
In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.
In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.
In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant.
In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.

And in Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

 

(By George thanks its followers for sending us jokes – there are dozens on a daily basis. Through 2017, we will attempt to re-post as many of the funniest political jokes with the condition that they are not mean spirited.)

You know you’re an avid hockey fan if…

  • You keep a picture of the Stanley Cup in your wallet in front of the picture of your family.
  • All your kids are either named Gordie, Bobby or Wayne.
  • Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an Eggo in the middle of the table.
  • You punish your kids with “minors,” “majors,” and “misconducts.”
  • You think the Canadian National Anthem is the theme from “Hockey Night in Canada.”
  • Instead of duct tape, you use hockey tape to fix everything.
  • You call a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame a “pilgrimage.”
  • You went into a bank because it advertised “Free Checking”….and walked out disappointed.
  • You’re not allowed to play chess simply because the first time you played, you misunderstood the meaning of the word “Check.”
  • When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns red, you get really excited and chant, “He shoots!  He scores!”
  • Your cure for everything is a couple extra-strength aspirin and a shot of Novocain.
  • You can pronounce anything in French, yet you have no idea what it means.
  • You can say “Khabibulin,” “Tkachuk,” “Jagr,” “Leschyshyn” and “Nikolishin” without getting tongue-tied.
  • Every time you see the name “Roy” you automatically pronounce it “Wah.”
  • Your closet is divided into 2 sections:  HOME and AWAY
  • Everything in your wardrobe is your team’s colors.
  • When someone says, “two minutes” you respond, “What for!?!”
  • You bake biscuits – burn them black – in dimensions of 3″ by 1.”
  • You own a Zamboni and keep it in the garage while your main car stays in the driveway.
  • You think the proper way to spell the plural of “leaf” is “leafs.”
  • When someone refers to “The Classics,” you think they’re talking about the Original Six.
  • You consider the Forum in Montreal a place of worship.
  • Every time you hear a siren you wonder who scored.
  • Your calendar only runs from October to June.

Chris George provides reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? Call 613-983-0801 @ CG&A COMMUNICATIONS.