Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Humourous articles and classic jokes
Our North American economy is so bad that… McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. Dick Cheney took his…
Here is a tongue-in-cheek list of rules for those who wish to maintain a skeptical outlook. # 1 – Do not let what you think get in the way of what you see. # 2 – Do not let what you see determine what you think, for appearances are deceptive. # 3 – Be omnivorous…
Red Skelton was an accomplished comedian and he had some interesting, personal insight into how to maintain a perfect marriage. He led by example… Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. We also sleep in separate…
These glorious insults are from a previous era — before four-letter words serve as the core of one’s pointed comments. He had delusions of adequacy. – Walter Kerr He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. – Winston Churchill I have never killed a man, but I have read…
A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.” An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do I come here often?” A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra. A young Texan walks into a bar and…
Here is By George’s contribution to the fine art of political humour – written for flacks, hacks and politicos – as well as for the many who sit in front of their TVs or cohorting in coffee shops, absorbed and totally amused by our politicians’ attempts to get our vote. Keep ‘em Laughing is…
The following is the winning entry from an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. “Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by…
I’m Running for Parliament! is an official video from an official candidate in this federal election. Wyatt Scott is an independent candidate in British Columbia who has made a crazy campaign video that has gone viral. With more than 1.4 million views, it just might be the most popular video ever for an independent candidate…
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each…
At a stop in Regina, a CBC reporter scanned the crowd of a Liberal rally for a possible interview. She decided to speak with an older farmer who was observing the events with some amusement. They spoke about Leader Justin Trudeau and the possibility of him being in 24 Sussex Drive in a matter of…
The following amusing story can be found in our publication By George Treasury. . A guy is driving around the back woods of northern Ontario and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the bell and the owner…
Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to…
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such…
(ed. – The American who wrote this is a college law student, studying law.) A Divorce Agreement between Americans Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process…
Tyrone was his teacher’s cross to bear. Because of his stupidity and clumsiness, his teacher was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me crazy, Tyrone!” One day Tyrone’s mother came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low…
For those that don’t know about the political perspective of history, here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most…
A man sits down in his center ice seat to watch game 7 of the Stanley Cup playoffs, noticing the seat beside his is empty, and stayed that way through the entire first period. Finally, he leans over and asks the man on the other side of it, “Is anyone sitting there?” “Nope,” the man…
+15 degrees C : Vancouverites try to turn on the heat. Manitobans plant gardens. +10 degrees C: Victorians shiver uncontrollably and dig out their longjohns. Winnipeggers sunbathe. +5 degrees C: Italian and German cars won’t start. Winnipeggers drive with the windows down. Zero C: Distilled water freezes. Winnipeg’s water gets thicker. -5 degrees C: Torontonians…
Is there any argument that Canuck humour begins and ends with ‘Eh?’ Often, foreigners have a difficult time understanding Canadians. Therefore, here’s a quick brief translation of the Canadian dialect. EH= pronounced AY (similar but not the same as huh) Eh is a useful word that is very important and is the basis of all…
What Do Canadians Have To Be Proud Of ? Well, look at this list to start… Smarties! Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp, Mars Bars The size of our football fields, and a game played with one less down and bigger balls Baseball is Canadian – First game June 4, 1838 – Ingersoll , ON Lacrosse is…