Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Humourous articles and classic jokes
In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. – Voltaire Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. – Frederic Bastiat In my many years I have come to…
Here’s a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I…
U.S. President Barak Obama was visiting the Queen. During the meeting, he asked the question, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?” “Well,” said the Queen Elizabeth, “The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.” Obama frowned, and then asked, “But…
Esquire recently published “The Greatest Jokes Ever Told” with a subtext: “Or at least the greatest, funniest jokes chosen by 22 of the funniest comics working stand-up today.” The magazine assembled 22 of the smartest comic minds currently performing in North America comedy clubs and asked them to tell the greatest joke they know. From…
1. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. We get slapped on our butts. Then things get worse. 2. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead; do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either; just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 3….
Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walk, they come across a sign: “Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.” “I am entering,” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how did you do?” “First…
Last night was, well, the last night… After a total of 6,028 The Late Show broadcasts, David Letterman signed off with class: “The only thing I have left to do for the last time on a television program is say thank you and good night.” And here’s the final tweet from The Late Show –…
Annoyed at having to suffer your co-workers uttering, day in and day out, over-used catch-phrases? Ready to jump over the meeting table or scream out loud the next time somebody says “We got to go after the low hanging fruit.”? Unfortunately, our workplaces are littered with buzzwords and phrases. You just need to laugh at…
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. OK, so what’s the speed of dark? Depression…
In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those…
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you…
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each…
For all cubical-dwellers, here is some Monday morning inspiration to get you started this week… Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the…
From that clever Canadian rag The Beaverton, editors have given us “10 ways to balance the federal budget” Akin to the Letterman Top-10 countdown, here are the Beaverton’s suggestions: 1. Retrofit Royal Canadian Navy to use more fuel efficient sail technology 2. Reduce House of Commons expenses by putting all legislation for next century into…
“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” – Bill Vaughan “Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.” – Unknown “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers “Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a…
Here is a fun list of what can be best described as “The World’s Thinnest Books” The Amish Phone Directory Royal Family’s Guide to Good Marriages Safe Places to Travel in the USA Cooking Gourmet Dishes With Tofu The Complete Guide to Catholic Sex The Code of Ethics for Lawyers The Book of Motivated…
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he will be a mile away – and barefoot. A closed mouth gathers no feet. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Age is a high price to…
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and…
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour. You form a co-operative to tell him how to manage his cow….
1. The Globe and Mail is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Ottawa Citizen is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The National Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The Globe and Mail. They do, however, like…