Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any. No one…
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his…
Here’s an illustrious powerplay if ever there was one. Follow closely… DAD: Son, you have to get married. I have a girl for you. SON: Not possible!! I don’t want to marry. DAD: Think twice son. She is Bill Gates’ daughter! SON: Ok Dad, I am ready! (Dad goes to Bill Gate) …
Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who writes in The Borowitz Report in The New Yorker. These two priceless Borowitz columns first appeared in The New Yorker… Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the…
Never pretend to be something you’re not. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Run, romp and play daily. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Be loyal. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience. Delight in the simple joy of a long…
These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to four-letter words. When writers and speakers pondered upon words and weighed each of them before making a sentence. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. – Winston Churchill I have never killed a man,…
Here are a few one-liners, puns and jokes relating to “social media” to insert in your next presentation – or in your next conversation with a tech-fearing person. You just might be addicted to Social Media if you have more facebook friends than in real life… or, you tweet more than you talk when you hear…
Here is a morning smile to explain the essence of the term ‘POLITICAL CORRECTNESS’. One of the original definitions for this overused modern term is found in four telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence Missouri. The following is the exchange of telegrams between then President Harry Truman and Gen Douglas MacArthur…
T.G.I.F.! Yes?! If it has been a long week, the By George scribes have found something that will make everything okay! With a simple click of a button – click here – you can do away with the troubles of the week and launch yourself into a weekend of rest and relaxation. (We advise you…
Here is a tongue-in-cheek list of rules for those who wish to maintain a skeptical outlook. # 1 – Do not let what you think get in the way of what you see. # 2 – Do not let what you see determine what you think, for appearances are deceptive. # 3 – Be omnivorous…
Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to…
Last night was, well, the last night… After a total of 6,028 The Late Show broadcasts, David Letterman signed off with class: “The only thing I have left to do for the last time on a television program is say thank you and good night.” And here’s the final tweet from The Late Show –…
Annoyed at having to suffer your co-workers uttering, day in and day out, over-used catch-phrases? Ready to jump over the meeting table or scream out loud the next time somebody says “We got to go after the low hanging fruit.”? Unfortunately, our workplaces are littered with buzzwords and phrases. You just need to laugh at…
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. OK, so what’s the speed of dark? Depression…
In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those…
For all cubical-dwellers, here is some Monday morning inspiration to get you started this week… Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the…
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he will be a mile away – and barefoot. A closed mouth gathers no feet. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. Age is a high price to…
We have all seen these types of lists of questions. Rhetorical. Silly. Puzzling. All designed to simply divert your attention (or that person you have chosen to bug) from the task at hand. So, here’s a list. You can put your pen down or turn your device on mute. Take the time to enjoy these…
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold…
From our recent post about pop culture happenings of 30 years ago, we see that David Letterman started his famous “Top-10 Lists” in 1985. This year, sadly, the popular late-night talk-show host will be airing his last show in May. And we will regrettably lose our nightly source of off-the-wall lists. In advance of this…