Pursuing Truth, Goodness, and Beauty
Humourous articles and classic jokes
When I think of some of the statements made here I begin to think that we are living is a new age of paleontology – political paleontology – the invertebrate age, which is government without a backbone. – John G. Diefenbaker Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it…
Less than a year ago, Olympic champion Lindsey Vonn tore the anterior cruciate, ligament and medial collateral ligament in her right knee and fractured her tibia during a harrowing ski accident in Schlamding, Austria. Vonn was airlifted by helicopter to a hospital in Schladming. Concerned she wouldn’t be ready for the 2018 Winter Olympics, the U.S. Olympic Committee announced today her spot…
A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my…
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any. No one…
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the U.N. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a complete failure because: In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they…
You keep a picture of the Stanley Cup in your wallet in front of the picture of your family. All your kids are either named Gordie, Bobby or Wayne. Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an Eggo in the middle of the table. You punish your…
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favour of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that…
Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his. – Ronald Reagan Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it. – Lyndon Johnson Did you ever think that making…
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his…
(Here’s the test – an absolute favourite of By George’s. Place yourself as the visitor and answer the question posed in this scenario.) During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up…
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t! I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously; no one…
So, are you not curious after the United States election, “Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?” DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens. HILLARY CLINTON: What difference does it make why the chicken crossed the road? BERNIE…
One night Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his wife Sophie decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the PM’s RCMP detail if he could please speak to the First Lady in…
The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution. Canadian border residents say it’s not uncommon to…
As the dust settles from what was a wild U.S. election, here are FAV memes of the past 7 days (right click on image, copy and share!). Chris George, providing reliable PR & GR counsel and effective advocacy. Need a go-to writer and experienced communicator? 613-983-0801 @…
Here’s an illustrious powerplay if ever there was one. Follow closely… DAD: Son, you have to get married. I have a girl for you. SON: Not possible!! I don’t want to marry. DAD: Think twice son. She is Bill Gates’ daughter! SON: Ok Dad, I am ready! (Dad goes to Bill Gate) …
Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who writes in The Borowitz Report in The New Yorker. These two priceless Borowitz columns first appeared in The New Yorker… Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the…
Never pretend to be something you’re not. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Run, romp and play daily. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Be loyal. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience. Delight in the simple joy of a long…
These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to four-letter words. When writers and speakers pondered upon words and weighed each of them before making a sentence. He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. – Winston Churchill I have never killed a man,…
The Internet search engine Ask Jeeves specializes in answering the toughest, most obscure questions Web surfers can throw at it. But even Jeeves can get stumped sometimes and it has now compiled what it calls the top 10 unanswerable questions. The list is based on more than 1 billion queries to the site since it…